Two Year Evaluation for Erin and Griffin

So today was a busy old day at the Zoo on the preemie front. Erin and Griffin had their two year evaluation for First Steps today. It was very busy, but very comforting to see one more person say(or set of people say) that my babies are getting closer to being "normal kids." When they start out at under 2 1/2 pounds, it's so hard to ever think that they could be "normal". But, here they were, showing the evaluators that they were closing the gap that being born three months premature has given them. And sometimes when a child is born so early, the gap is even more than simply the amount of time they should have been baking in utero. I feel like this is one more bridge that we have crossed.....there are some that we still have in regards to their rough start. It still frightens me to send them to school....what if they have learning issues? We shall see when we come to it, I suppose. Right now I'm revelling in the fact that we're getting closer. The only delays that we're showing are with speech. It won't surprise me to see that Griffin would need therapy, but I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't qualify for therapy, based simply on how boisterous the boy is. He truly is my performance artist, and that is such a riot to see.

On the lighter side of the evaluation, they were totally wondering why they were the center of attention. You could tell that Griffin knew that we were talking about him, and was wondering why. And when he figured out that we were all paying attention to him, he was a shining star. Too hilarious. Erin was a little more timid, but you could tell that she was basking in the attention as well.

What big kids. I feel bad that I sometimes leave Collin out of my day. It's so hard to find time to talk about the school boy of the group....the other parts of my life are all-consuming. :( I just don't want him to be like the younger sister in My Sister's Keeper, by Jodi Picoult. I really do love Collin a lot. And, being the first, there were plenty of times with just him. Right now, though, it seems that the twins and the daycare just take the front burners. I need to make it a priority to treat Collin like he's one of the best parts of my day. Though, I suppose I am not treating anyone or anything like the best part of my life right now. :( Most of that comes from the twins being so young and so breastfed, I suppose. lol

OK, am starting to feel like Doogie, here, so I better get.

I'm dreaming of Hawaii.....

Gina....you really have me thinking....could we pretend I'm your sister-in-law and get me a flight over to Hawaii to visit? ;)

I really need a vacation. After all this sickness, I really need some time off that doesn't include a trip to the gyno. Although, once we get me figured out and back in the saddle, someone in my family better get fixed so that my time off doesn't include a trip to the OB, too.... ROFL

Anyway, Erin threw up in the morning and at lunch yesterday....a temp kid threw up yesterday all day and was grumpy as hell....and I have Dante sick today....and Michael stayed home puking. Oh, and don't forget that Griffin threw up in the car on the way to dinner last night, forcing us to not go to the Red Onion and get tenderloin sandwhiches as big as our heads, but instead to go to the McD's drive thru. Oh, and dont' forget that they stiffed me two of the ten chicken nuggets that I was supposed to get! (see my streak of luck, here, folks??)

So, I'm dreaming of black sands (that gonna be near you, Gina?? I think those are in Hawaii...), and getting one killer tan......

..............................I'd settle for some time off at this point, tho.

I'm hoping that I'll be in a better mood soon. If anyone wants to come visit me to make me feel better my address is 666 Puke Lane, Vomitville...in the state of Insanity.

Return to Paradise of Puke.....

Man-o-man, I wish I could say that I were returning to Blue Lagoon (am I an old fart, or what?!), but...alas...I'm not that lucky. I'm the one who will accidentally leave lipstick in my pocket, to be washed and dispersed throughout my laundry. I'm the one who will get a smudge on her new tennis shoes the second she wears them. I'm the one who loses a twenty dollar bill....you get my drift.

Right now, my unluckiness lies in my children and their illnesses. I suppose it all started in 1998 when I was going to go to King's Island with Katie to celebrate her 21st birthday, when Collin got the chicken pox, and I was afraid of infecting her kids with it. Gotta love life. Now it's just about damn near every holiday that we get to spend alone because of a child puking.

On a happier note...it is absolutely 100% fucking beautiful today, and my fat ass is going to try and haul the chubbykin kids out to play this afternoon after nap. Puke or no puke, it's going to do us a world of good!

Rock on, Spring! I hope that you bring with you germ free days.

Off to change some shit.......I know you're so completely jealous of me. Do you know how unbelievably bad soy milk shit smells?? I don't think you want to if you don't already know.... baaah---goooo..... LOL

A New Day.....

...dawned on the Zoo today. It is currently after 9 p.m., and we've now been puke free since about 8:00 or so this morning. Way-fucking-hay! :D

So it's been beautiful here today. Busy, but way beautiful. There were six extra kids at the Zoo today, so it was looney, but we actually were able to get outside this afternoon. Someone once told me that my house either looked like a perpetual garage sale or a daycare. I so should have taken a picture of what it looked like after all the kids were gone.....I'm not sure that I could have had many more ride-on toys outside. hehe

OK, off to bed with my fat ass. Not sure that I'll have the time to be on here tomorrow...seven extra (shhhh...please don't rat me out....two of them won't be here next week, and then we'll be back to fully legal....).

More of the Same....

Only this time, Mr. Hammer , it's coming out both ends, and I got to give baths to two very unhappy babies this morning. I feel like I might be getting this myself, too. But who knows, it could also be that Aunt Flo has been here for four weeks in a row, with no more than a few days' break. Am looking at getting the old surgery done on April 15. Aaron made the quip that I couldn't get it done then, because I'd be busy doing our taxes that day.....asshole....but he's probably right!

Right, off to tame the wild and shitting beasts.

The Best Week Ever....

Oh, yeah...I think I oughta call VH1 now. At least I got a few scrapbook pages done. I'm now almost ready (just finishing up a page for which I don't have the stuff that the first one was made with) to scrapbook when the twins were born. I've done their ultrasounds and my big preggo pics. Other than that...the weekend was pretty much full of the same that I've been moaning about......

Feel free to shout up if you want to trade places.....

You're Just Jealous.....

I know you are. While you are doing whatever you are doing today, I'm sure you are not having as much fun as I am.....

You know that you would love to clean up the puke of two two year olds. You know that you would love to sleep on a sofa that has uneven cushions and not get a full night's sleep. You know that you would love to change your clothing more times than should be necessary because your wonderful, yet disgusting daughter has thrown up on you....again.

I know you envy me and wish that you could trade places. In fact, for this limited time, I will award the first person who wants it a day in the life of the Zookeeper......Come on, don't be shy. Step right up here....




..........yeah, I didn't think so.

Two Out of Three Ain't Wonderful......

Two out of three kids puking, that is. Erin Louise started puking again this morning. The first puke (on Wednesday) was a R.A.P, methinks. Today, methinks it's the flu.

The only other news of note? The house that I liked? The one I placed my furniture in? Yeah, that sold. And not to me.

I'm off to drown my sorrows in some diet Coke now.

Times Like These.....

So, yesterday, Erin Louise puked up after her morning nursing session. Today, Griffin pukes after breakfast.

.........................................................If I had any option, I would hit the ground running after Aaron came home, but Aaron's not coming home tonight, as parent-teacher conferences have stolen him away.

*sigh*

*Yawn*

Quite sleepy today at the Zoo. Nothing much going on, but am tired just the same. I think my body's half-way drained from all the female yuckiness going on with me. That, and just being fairly busy each day, with five or more children running at my feet. I love it, but sometimes it's very tiring!

I think I've decided to be my Mary Kay consultant's best customer. I'm a better buyer than seller, and I'm just not ready to make that kind of commitment right now. I do love the ideas of Mary Kay, though, and feel confident that the consultant would be a good match, but right now, I think I better concentrate on being a good Zookeeper and Momma and Wife. Throw too many things into the batch, and it's sure to come up tasting like shit. Sometimes less is more. I've figured out what's wrong with my make-up...it's the cream-to-powder foundations that get me. If I use regular foundations and powder, I have much better luck. Not to say that some mascaras aren't going to give me the same result as the cream-to-powder foundations! But I tried on the cheapy Cover Girl make-up that I bought a while back (um, because it was $4.00 for both foundation and powder... LOL), and it gave me no problems whatsoever. I was careful to avoid most of my eye area, and it did the trick! I know that Aaron likes the way I look with make-up, and will put some on to make him like this hot mamma even better. Not that I'm not semi-happy with how I look without it, but earning brownie points with the husband never hurts, either. ;)

To Mary Kay, or Not to Mary Kay? That is the Question.....

OK, so last night, I was invited to this Mary Kay meeting. I have used the Mary Kay make-up/skincare products since I was a little girl, playing in my mother's make-up. I love their stuff, and think that it really makes a difference in my skin. (yea...remember the $90 I spent??) So of course this girl is trying to get me into the plan. That's what they all do. But I've historically sucked at these types of things. But part of me wonders whether or not I would be successful with this type of thing, since it seems like this is a company who WANTS to help their "Independent Contractors". They WANT to help a person succeed with their business. Or at least I think that I would have the help in succeeding. I've totalled up what I think that I would spend every few months, and it's quite extensive. Especially if I use the skin care as it's meant to be used. And for a week now, I've been regimented in my skin care, only missing either one or the other of the mornings/nights. And my skin DOES really look nice.

But, I still wonder if this is for me. Methinks that I could be a personal use consultant, and offer the discount to my friends and family. But part of me thinks that it would be wonderful to be just like my friend Rebecca, who makes, and I shit you not, $4,000 a month simply in her commissions from her downline! Holy shit!

But then I think about how I've tried selling both candles and scrapbooking stuff now....and of how both of those ideas have failed miserably. Would this be any different? I don't know.

And part of the reason I don't wear make-up is also what prevents me from doing well in any business....I'm inherently lazy....I HATE this about myself, but it is the truth.

But part of me KNOWS that I can't be the Zookeeper forever. Don't get me wrong, I love the kids, and love their families. But I think I will slowly go insane if I do this long term. I NEED adult companionship. I crave it. I crave getting appreciated and recognized....NEITHER of which happens when you're either a SAHM or a daycare provider. Children just don't show you that they appreciate you very well......

*sigh* What to do?

There is something wrong with me.......

.....when the most relaxing part of the day has been the visit to the Gyno......

ok, so, i have a clot-like something or other in my uterus....yummy! and to get rid of it, i have to have a d&c....fan-fucking-tastic!!!

this has been the BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Glasses for a Toddler and the Day from Hell

Usually I post in the morning, right? Well, it's 12:30, and I'm already for bed.....You can see where this is going, right? I realize that not every day is going to be peaches and cream.....but couldn't it be one or the other, instead of a platter of shit served to me?? I'm just sayin'!! :(

So 7:30 hits, and my Brazilian boyfriend erps up the ENTIRE BOTTLE of milk that I gave him at 7:00 when he woke up. I call dad at work, after the 1/2 it takes me to clean up the mess. We decide to wait to see if it's a random thing or whether he'll make a repeat performance before his mom comes to get him. So, I figure that I'll feed him some oatmeal and bananas....He does fine for the first few bites, and then the big performance is made. He goes home. Meanwhile, I have all these kids wanting things from me. I ate breakfast at 10:00, if that gives you any idea....Normally it's as soon as humanly possible! Then I have another kiddo who's not feeling well, who decides that following me around, sobbing would get all of us happy. Forget that I have lunch to feed for seven children. Oh, did I mention that one of the families had a sick kid who needed to come over to spend the afternoon?? So make that eight children. At least she's 11!! Anyway....that's the fun there.

The other bit of fun for the day is that Aaron took the twins to see the eye doctor. Premature children (especially micropreemies such as mine) often have what's called Retinopathy of Prematurity...lovingly called ROP in the preemie world. Both Erin and Griffin had bits of it when they were in the hospital, but it receded. Oftentimes, though, it still might cause them to need glasses later on. Well, Erin Louise is going to get glasses. Griffin doesn't require them, though. I'm glad that they can do something to make things better for her....and I can't say that it was really a surprise, since she literally sits as close as humanly possible to the television. And when she plays with her magnadoodle or when she's coloring, her face is quite close to her masterpiece. So....looks like we get to go glasses shopping for the little bit. I dare say that I believe that it will be easier to find cute glasses for a girl rather than a boy?

And the very last bit of fun that the Zookeeper can look forward to today is that she has a doctor's appointment with the OB/GYN today. Suffice it to say (as I know that I do have a male audience here in blogland), that the Zookeeper's animalistic behaviors have had to be contained, as when she lets them out, she winds up incapable of going at it again for quite some time.....and it doesn't seem to matter what time of the month it is. So, obviously something's going wrong down there. And if I need to have any sort of surgery to correct it, they might as well tie up the tubes while they're there, and save Aaron the pain of having the good old V-job (and no, we're not talking Viagra here) done. Updates to follow, but I'm sure a good ram up the ass with the ultrasound machine is to follow.

Sorry for the blantant yuckiness, folks, but this is my mood today......

Simply She.....Simply Not Me!!!

Ok, so today I went and did something for myself. A friend of mine from college invited me to this expo at the State Fairgrounds called Simply She. This is sooooo not what I'm into. I'm the girl who doesn't wear make-up....the thought of putting make-up on makes me seriously want to claw my eyes out...literally! Mascara, and I've tried many kinds, does it to me every time. You know when I said that I just spent $90 with the Mary Kay lady? Well, that was ALL skin-care stuff, and didn't include make-up. Why? Because even their FOUNDATION makes my eyes itchy.....(um, Gina....can you help me, oh fashion consultant? not sure what I could pay you, unless you have a paypal account, but here's a job for you! hehe). I'm the girl whose main hairstyle includes either a clip or ponytail holder in some sort of shoddy pony-tail/bun mix-up. This is every day. I didn't even start conditioning my hair until college, if that tells you anything....my step-mom is not girly either, tho she doesn't leave the house without make-up. But, she never taught me the basic rituals of girl self-care.

So, spending a day looking at a whole bunch of stuff I wouldn't WANT to afford, watching stick-thin girls walk down a runway sporting hairstyles I would NEVER WEAR, just wasn't my idea of a good time.

Here's what will tell you what kind of girl I am....the highlight of the day? Going to the snack-bar for a corndog and eggrolls. And afterward? Going to Steak n' Shake and hanging out with a friend who needed the time by herself (or with an adult female) just as much as I did.

Minimalist? Why, yes...yes, I am.

Screaming, Standing Diaper Changes, and Birthday Parties

This morning is one of those times where you just want to call it a day....at 8:30!! Remember the train obsession I was telling you about? Well, the minute something doesn't go Griffin's way, he screams bloody murder -- an all-out, ear-piercing scream. OY!! (why, yes...that's a Snapperism! ;) )

So, I believe that Erin Louise is ready to be potty-trained. But someone please tell me how to potty train a kiddo that doesn't really TALK? Instead of telling me that she's pooped, she just brings me the shitty diaper. She's also done this with the pissy ones, too. Any insight might be helpful, but so help me, I think the girl's ready to start?

Today we are going to the two year birthday party for a friend from the NICU. It's at the Children's Museum, so that will bring some entertainment for the kiddos for a while. I'm excited at the thought of sharing this moment with them. The kids have really known eachother all their lives. There is something a bit fun at the thought of them knowing eachother all the way through school. This is provided that we all stay in our good old little town-that's-projected-to-be-a-city-soon-if-we-keep-growing-like-we-have. And even if we all stay put and they aren't best friends, the expectation is there that they WILL be friends. ROFL Why yes, I'm the mommy who also teases with her friends with children of the opposite sex that we're going to arrange their marriage. Although, now that I've read The Pact, by Jodie Picoult, I'm not so sure that this is such a great idea.

Anyway, have a great Saturday, all!

A Woman's Place is in the Home......

OK, so maybe not all women should be a SAHM/WAHM.....but, I've come to realize, my WHOLE world revolves around being in my house. Sometimes I think that my life was a little easier when I was working outside the home at good old Unlce Ernie. (Ernst & Young) OK, who am I kidding? Life was a LOT easier when I was working outside the home. I am not genetically programmed to be a good housewife. This has led to the source of many a fight around the Zoo. Remember when I told you that I felt like I was getting a sinus infection? Well, this led to the Zookeeper taking a nap during naptime....instead of doing anything that might resemble cleaning in the slightest. Well, Mr. Zookeeper comes home last night and is PIIIIISSSSEEED. A huge fight ensues, expletives are shouted, tears are shed, and eventually, the Zookeeper leaves in a huff. So, I'm pissed and hurt, tired and crying, and I run for the mini-van......I climb in sit down.....and burst into more tears at the thought that I have nowhere to go. My whole existence lies within this 1240 square foot space that's ALL MINE. So, after a few minutes of bawling in my car, I realized that I couldn't go anywhere with my tear-stained face (oy, my face gets embarrasingly red and splotchy when I'm crying), I sheepishly went back into the house.

I still wonder if I shouldn't leave my Zoo behind and get a job outside the home. But I cringe at the thought of giving my entire paycheck to the keeper of the next zoo. What's the sense in that? So my next thought is that maybe it's time for the Zookeeper to wean the babies and go away by herself somewhere. Maybe visit some of my friends who are spread throughout the country and the world? I really don't want to wean them yet, but for my own sanity, I think I should. We've given it a good whirl. It's time to do something for myself. Why does a Mommy feel guilty in doing things for and by herself, but a Daddy doesn't? If he wants a weekend or a week away without the fam, he plans it and does it. And doesn't act like he will miss everyone so much it hurts. Whereas a Mommy sometimes has trouble leaving the house even for the damn afternoon without feeling like she's abandoning her family?

Or...am I just a psychotic fuckwit?

Erin's Speech Therapy

Erin had speech therapy today. She's been having it twice a month for about six months or so now. It's amazing to me how much her language skills have grown since she started. I'm so very proud of my big girl! She's making choices for herself lately....I was going to get Taco Bell for supper the other night, when she said "fry-fries"? How could I deny her? She went through the McDonalds' drive through with me to get some "fry-fries". She'll also tell US when she wants to go to bed....the other night, she crawled up on Aaron's lap, put her head on his shoulder, lifted up her head, looked at Collin, and said "night-night bubba". So the phrases are really starting to come through. We've been steadily working more at getting her to talk, so hopefully everyone's efforts will pay off. Pretty soon, she'll not qualify for speech any more! :)

Both Erin and Griffin will be totally evaluated on March 31st. In my heart of hearts, I don't think that they'll be far behind (if at all) from their peers, but I'm insisting on hearing it from more than just one or two people before I really will breathe that sigh of relief. I know that it seems that I dwell on their prematurity, but there are so many complications as a result of being so premature, that I feel that we're not going to be out of the woods and be able to step back and say "look at what modern medicine can do!" until they hit school and we see what kind of learning styles they have. I know that some things depend on a personality, but I honestly think that not everything is dependent like that. It's funny....the bigger they get, the farther in the distance the image should be of that 1 lb. 10 oz. girl and that 2lb. 2 oz. boy, but every little progress makes that image more vivid. Any time they're sick...it's vivid....Any time we have something great going on, it's vivid....and makes me so aware of the miracle I've been given.

I honestly think that the only things in my life that don't revolve around my children are my bedroom antics as a married woman (which are lessened by mother nature and the fact that I'm tired because of the kids!) and my Literati habit, OK, so the diet Coke, too.... Anything else in my life is resultant of my children.....Even scrapbooking is a thing that I did because of my children......but what separates me from Lucy Jordan is the perspective that when I became a mother, I didn't realize that my life would forever be about my children and then my children's children.....but now that I know that this is the case, I'm terribly excited by what lies ahead. And who knows if I'll get to Paris. And maybe I wouldn't like Paris once I got there, anyway!

Someone please cut my sinuses out!!!

I'm working on my yearly sinus infection. This time of year, when the seasons change over, is always the time when I suffer most with my allergies. This time, and in the fall, when they change back. Every year that I've not been on medication has been increasingly difficult....This is yet another reason to wean the babies and get back with my other best friend....Claritin!

Other news of note....I'm drafting an email to send out to my March of Dimes WalkAmerica team. In my short span of fundraising last year, I was able to raise nearly $400! I'm quite stoked about the possibility of raising even more money this year. This year, also, I have more responsibilities, as I am the captain of the team for which I am walking. You will be hearing more from me on this front! ;)

Holy attention Span, Batman!

So, Griffin has been psycho-obsessed (like I did say in 100 things...addictive tendencies run amock in the Byers/Rayls families...) with watching Thomas the Tank Engine movies. And since Collin was psycho-obsessed back in his day, we have all the trains (you don't spend close to $500 bucks on something and just give it away, ya know?) leftover, I brought them out to play today so that Griffin would stop tearing up videos and my audiovisual equipment in persuit of his latest round of eye candy.....

....this was around three-ish this afternoon. At a little before EIGHT tonight, I wrestle him kicking and screaming into his PJ's and toss him into bed. At 8:30, he's still awake in his crib, all but CUSSING ME OUT (wonder where he gets THAT). The kid can't sit through a bedtime book or a dinner out, but spent five fucking hours with Thomas this afternoon.

He did take a break to open a present that my friend Jessica brought for their birthday. Aaron decided (read here as "nagged me into") only having a party with HIS FAMILY this year, so she didn't realize (because I thought I would) that we weren't having a kid party for the kids this year. So, he took a break to open the kick-ass Little People Carnival Set that she gave them. OK, folks, Katie wasn't lying when she said eons ago how cool this shit is! I want to play with the Little People!! I can't wait until we figure out just what the hell we're doing with our household situation so I can build the whole village in my house to play with every day.....

So, you may or may not get a post tomorrow....depends on how much I can spend with my "pee-poe".

100 Things....yes, I've nothing better to do today.....

1. My real name is not Zookeeper, but Stephanie
2. I was born in Philadelphia, PA.
3. I was born in a naval hospital which has since closed down.
4. I have three children.
5. I got married when my oldest was eight months old.
6. I have been married to Aaron for almost eight years.
7. I studied at Ball State University, and earned a degree in German Education.
8. I taught German for a year.
9. I hated teaching high school.
10. I taught German to preschoolers for three years.
11. I loved it, though giving up my Saturday mornings wasn't my bag.
12. I used to work at Ernst & Young.
13. I swam on the team in high school.
14. My best time in the 500 yard freestyle is 7:26.
15. I can sing.
16. I've only sung professionally once, and was paid $35.
17. I sang to Aaron during our wedding.
18. I've moved eight times in the last 10 years.
19. I swear like a sailor.
20. I don't fucking care if you don't like my cussing.
21. One of my detentions served in school was for swearing in class.
22. The other was for an overdue library book.
23. Yes, I was a goodie-two-shoes in high school.
24. Social Work was another career option in college.
25. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
26. My twins were born 14 weeks early.
27. The twins were a fluke of over-active ovaries....no fertility meds required in this family.
28. My oldest was the result of a broken condom.....oooops!!!
29. I'm not sorry that the condom broke.
30. I'm not sorry that my ovaries are overactive.
31. I love being a mommy.
32. I hate being a mommy at times.
33. My oldest tried to be born 10 weeks to early.
34. My oldest was born only 4 weeks early.
35. I was nineteen when my oldest was born.
36. I went to Las Vegas on my honeymoon.
37. I have never been overseas.
38. I would love to live overseas.
39. I am a diet coke junkie.
40. I go through at least a case of diet coke a week. :O
41. I am also a pop-tart junkie.
42. I go through thin mints like they're....diet coke... ;)
43. I didn't realize 100 things would be so many.
44. Indiana is where I find my home.
45. I grew up a county away from Kentucky.
46. My dad is an avid fisherman.
47. I hate fishing.
48. I am a slob by nature.
49. Am currently working hard to resolve this.
50. www.prematurebaby.org is a premature baby site that i co-run.
51. some of my best friends can be found there.
52. i am a scrapbooking junkie as well.
53. addictive tendencies run in my family.
54. i have completed near 500 pages.
55. i started scrapbooking in 1999.
56. i converted part of my walk-in closet to a scrapbooking space.
57. i didn't get my driver's license until i was 18.
58. Aaron taught me how to drive.
59. I bought my first car at 16.
60. I can count on both hands how many times i got to drive it.
61. my current ride is a 2003 hunter green mazda mpv.
62. it's lovingly called the Byers Bingo Bus.
63. i didn't come up with that name.
64. in 2003, i bought a pop-up camper.
65. i bought it off ebay.
66. i've used it once.
67. i really hate bugs and mosquitos.
68. i really had no idea that i would be running low on things to say...... LOL
69. i could chat a glass eye to sleep.
70. my hair is blonde.
71. my eyes are blue.
72. i wear a size 12 jeans.....ouch.....
73. i run a daycare out of my home.
74. i try not to keep any more than five extra kids in a day.
75. i actually don't mind my job.
76. i've not always liked my job as Zookeeper.
77. my yahoo IM name is scrappingjunkie......
78. i can frequently be found playing literati in yahoo games with my friend, Nancy.
79. i don't always win at literati.
80. i'm a total scatterbrain.
81. i have slowly gotten worse over time....
82. i sometimes can't form a coherent thought....
83. i'm a hopeless perfectionist.
84. Paxil is my friend.
85. i love to sleep.
86. these days, i don't sleep enough.
87. i am starting to get wrinkles.
88. thus, i have just spent 90 in mary kay products.... :O shhhh...don't tell aaron.
89. i don't wear make-up.
90. i have very sensitive eyes.
91. i overeat.
92. i love listening to music.
93. it's very hard to listen to the kinds of music i like, because i'm the zookeeper.
94. i actually don't mind the wiggles.
95. i spend the majority of my time barefoot.
96. i like to eat taco bell....most of the time.
97. i don't like black olives
98. i have sensitivites to meat...
99. i'm still not a vegetarian, though.
100. i'm tired now!

So....the past week, we had four people look at the house, three people formally, and one person informally. All of them said that my house is cute....but too small. *sigh*

Other than that, not much is going on here. Back to the normal and mundane of life. Although, with all that could be going wrong, I'll take normal and mundane.

WARNING: BLATANT HORN-TOOTING TO FOLLOW

*drum-rolls*

I am now scrapbooking 2003! :D AWWWW, YEAH!!!! For those of you who know me, I have been perepetually behind my entire scrapping career. Up until recently, I have worked outside my home 60 hours a week during this time of year, and even when I wasn't working 60 hours, spent at least an hour on the road each day (maybe two, depending on where the location was) en route. So, working 60 hours at home has made it a little easier to scrap and get some stuff done. I would probably be caught up by now, if 60 hours a week didn't take its toll. :) Also, scrapping generally tends to make a HUGE mess (well...for ME at any rate!), so if I don't get things cleaned up...or if Aaron cleans (which usually entails him just dumping shit on my desk in my closet! ROFL), then I have to actually clean before I scrap. I know, cry you a river, right? ;) Anyway, I'd probably be closer to caught up if I had more energy....but, that's not likely to happen in the very near future, so I'll settle for being just two months' over two years behind.

Other news of note is that my internet farted out on me this weekend....can I tell you how dependent upon my internet I am? Can I tell you how scared this makes me?? How can I make it through a day without getting my ass kicked by Nancy at Literati?? *back of hand on forehead, like a Victorian woman with the vapours* So, I resorted to scrapbooking yesterday, finishing up 2003 (only one page...) and sorting pictures of the twins in the hospital. I'm still wondering how to do their albums, but we shall see how it goes. I'm facing it full-on now. I figure that I suppose I ought to use those YorkPhoto.com credits I bought last year..... ROFL....shouldn't let 400 prints go to waste, should I??

Anyway, that's that. I shall now get bossy lady (a.k.a. the five year old) some breakfast.....She comes late, and then comes in demanding breakfast....the nerve, I tell you!

we went to see houses today.....i still love this house that we first saw. it was the first one we went into, and made me rethink that maybe we should go for the gusto now so that we can stay in one house for the next several years....we're talking that we'll be having our GRANDKIDS spend the night with us in this house! to see this house, go to www.talktotucker.com and put in 2440323 in the section that says "to search by street number or MLS". The other houses that we saw today didn't have the potential that this house has for us.

by the way, if you would like to see my house, go to the same website and put 2512145 in the search slot....

wish me luck...and say a few prayers to St. Joseph...as i believe that he is the patron saint of selling a house.... ROFL

my friend Shelley gave me the suggestion by saying that she was reading my blog from the beginning. i started reading it from the beginning, and am amazed at how much my life has changed since this time last year. this time last year, i had two major falling outs with two dear friends.....i suppose that both were a long time coming, and i was sad but i wasn't sorry that they happened....because both NEEDED to happen. one friendship was rekindled, but was incredibly akward and hasn't been the same. i'm not really even trying on that one anymore, as that person doesn't even really care anyway, and is in too sad of state to even be good for anyone (i'm not just being mean...it's true....the person made the first contact a while back...which rarely has happened since the rekindling of the friendship....and i got cut off...the person didn't even remember contacting me, they were so drunk....i figured that it's not worth struggling to maintain at the expense of my own feelings when it's apparent that they don't really give two shits....). the other person sent me a christmas card, but that's about it. no note inside to indicate that this person was doing anything other than being stiffly polite. that friendship, or lack thereof, still remains a mystery on whether it will be rekindled, but i'm still debating on whether that one would be a healthy one for me anyway.

i've really grown a lot in the past few years. i'm really not shitting anyone, least of all myself, when i say i've lived a thousand lifetimes....much of me and my personality is the same. i come in about the same package as two and a half years ago, but have longer hair. i weigh the same (which really is a pain in the ass, because business and stress actually helped me to LOSE weight and be SMALLER than i was before being pregnant!!). i am still kind to people. i still strive to be good to other people. i'm more subdued than i was, but still outgoing and boisterous at times. i still chat a glass eye to sleep when given the chance.

BUT....i won't let people just walk all over me. there are limits to just how good i'll be when someone is doing me wrong. i'll not let people just get by with judging me and my actions, especially when they've got their own skeletons in their closets. i'll not try to follow after people like a lost puppy trying to get a scrap of attention. i'm working hard to get my faith back....not there yet, entirely, but i'm working on it.

don't get me wrong, i have plenty of faults. but i'm going to try not to judge others for their faults, because i'm not going to throw stones while living in a glass house.

it does amaze me to think just how unhappy and downtrodden i was a year ago. i still get down, but i have been able to work myself back to normal...usually by the next day. i'm much more content being myself. i work little by little to improve myself, and realize that there is only so much that one person can do.

well, so far a few people have come by to see the house, but no potential buyers as of yet. hopefully the weekend will bring more showings....keep crossing those fingers and saying those prayers...

life has been its usually busy and bustling self here at the Zoo. we're still working like maniacs to keep our house show-ready. it's exhausting, but it's so nice to have a clean house. can i tell you how nice it is to go through a dark house in the middle of the night and not step on a toy?

the aching muscles in my legs are back.... why is it that there is so much PAIN associated with trying to get fit and lose the thin mint look? i know that no pain is no gain, but it sucks all the same.

ok....off to drink more diet coke and vacuum up more pop-tart remnants.....

right then, i'm officially a fat ass.....i went to the gym with my sister-in-law, only to find out that i'm back up to pre-pregnancy weight (holy fucking shit!!!!), to be surrounded by tons of women who've never experienced the joys of child-bearing, to be surrounded by tons of women who have never experienced the joys of keeping the Zoo......oy, vey.....and not only that, i got to SEE how much damage the thin mints have done.....i've got fucking SADDLEBAGS!!!!!

ok, one more sleeve of thin mints, and then the kashi go lean will be my new favorite snack....it's pretty tasty.....has a woodsy taste....i'll just close my eyes and pretend they're thin mints.....

why yes, i've turned into drill sargent stephanie for the time being. my hope is that the kiddos and i will keep up with this new life as cleaners in charge.

if you want to buy a nice starter home, please visit www.mibor.com and look for MLS#2512145.

don't worry, the house doesn't look much like a daycare has been run out of it..... ;)

other than that, not much is happening at the Zoo. does anything else happen in life when you're trying to sell your home? i never in my life thought that i would be so attached to something, but we had this house built. we've picked out everything from where the phone jacks go, to the color of the counter tops. i've spent the majority of the last two years in this house, and now i'm thinking of giving it to someone else. the thought is a little sad. but...i also think of what life will be like with a bigger house. everyone will have a space to call their own. even the daycare will have it's own space (hopefully!). when the day is done, i will hopefully be able to get out of the daycare room and be able to relax with my family....even if the toys aren't all the way picked up yet. that's a nice thought! :)

btw, if you're a scrapbooker, go to http://forums.delphiforums.com/scrapbookcorner/start and chat with other scrappers! :) also, i stole the idea of using challenge teams from my buddies at www.ukscrappers.co.uk , and we're starting our own team challenge. come join in on the fun and get some scrapping done!

oh, man, am i EXHAUSTED!!! we've scrubbed walls, shampooed carpets, cleaned the fridge, sorted toys, and everything else, and i'm tired! LOL the realtors come in the morning to take pictures. i'm excited at the prospect of selling this house and getting a bigger one. i'm very nervous about it, all the same.

we busted hump today to get the house ready to show, despite the fact that tomorrow's really d-day (they listed no showings until tomorrow). so they call to see if they can come in the house early, and didn't even spend five minutes looking at the house. how rude is that???

anyway, methinks flylady needs to come out and play again. and now that the house is absolutely shining, i'm hoping that i'll have the motivation to keep it that way. wish me luck!

it's been a busy past few days. my brazilian boyfriend had a time of it yesterday, which made things a little crazy.

today, however, my good friends from the NICU called me and they rushed the wife to the hospital because she was having contractions. she had the flu really badly, and was dehydrating, which caused them. they were able to get them under control, though, but will keep her in for the night to make sure that she's ok. man, i am worried for her. already a mom of a micropreemie (whose twin passed away), i would hate to see her have to go through all that again.

because of all this, i watched her son today. he's going to be two on st. patty's day. :) he's getting so big, and i think that he's doing pretty well, given his very scary beginnings! he only had one melt-down-i-want-my-momma moment, which was right before bed. so all in all....a pretty good time with him.

this weekend, my friend nancy and her daughter cate are coming down to help me get the house ready to sell. we'll see how it goes. there isn't a TON that needs to be done, but i'm hoping that we can get it ready for the realtor to take pictures on monday morning. wish me luck!

These days, I'm really concerned about my dad and brother. It would be so much easier to not give a damn, but it's not the way it is. Several years ago, my dad and brother went into business together, painting houses. They painted houses for a builder (one of two in their community), and did an ok business, though they didn't make as much as they should, because if you're one of two builders in town, you know that you can pay whatever you want, s0 they felt as though they were working too much for not enough money. Working so hard has taken a toll on their bodies, not to mention their relationships with their immediate families. You see, my dad is very biblical in his views, but only believes in his own interpretations....and in the Bible it says that a father should leave a legacy for his children. In his belief, this means that he should leave his children with a huge sum of money when he kicks it. The only way he sees to get rich is to be in business for himself. My dad, however, isn't very business savvy, and has racked up tons and tons of debt which he has been having trouble paying off. In his frustration at making so little and working so much for this builder, he quit working for them, and has been tossing up ideas of what kind of business to run ever since. Mind you, I use "he" most often in this when I should be saying "they," but my brother has been a bit of a silent partner when it comes to the business, or might as well be, as my dad will not listen to what my brother has to say. He does work his tail-end off, though. Now his big idea is to start up a seafood restaurant in the SAME BUILDING as he has been housing a painting business, bait shop, and metal shop......In talking to my sister-in-law this weekend, with whom I don't always see eye-t0-eye, she is at her wit's end with all this. She wants my brother to walk away from the business, but my brother doesn't want to leave dad.....She has also told me that she's been seriously ready to leave a few times, but can't figure out what to do with taking care of my nephews, so she's giving him another year to do what he wants with this business, but if it's looking as shoddy as it does now, that either he has to walk or she will....If my sister-in-law is saying this, I have to wonder what my step-mother (my REAL mother, mind you, if you've been following along here...) is thinking. Sometimes I wonder if she's just sticking around until the boys (my two younger brothers, who are a junior and senior in high school) are out of the house. If she's not as frustrated as everyone else is with all this, then she's really bound to be cannonized after she goes. I just don't know how anyone could cope with being a single mother when they're married....My SIL and mom also are fending for the family with their own incomes at the moment, too.

While my road to hell is paved with Girl Scout Cookies, other people's roads to hell are paved with good intentions. I just wish I didnt' care about this. I wonder what the effects of this will be should things keep going as badly as they have......