Life as a reformed Zookeeper. Now living a life as a working mother who dabbles in karate, scrapbooking, and Coors Light!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

My Thoughts On Children Who Don't Want to Potty Train....

...OK, so those of you close enough to get a phone call know that my digestive system has been a little delicate the past few days. And, to further explore this and go deeper into the realms of my personal information than you ever wished to, let me tell you that I honestly shit my pants the other day. I thought I was going to make wind (pass gas, fart, cut the mustard....whatever you wish to refer to it as) and honestly shit my pants. Yes, folks, I'm admitting the unthinkable. But as I ran to the bathroom and IMMEDIATELY cleaned myself off, I wondered why on earth a child would not want to use the potty in order to prevent sitting in their own excrement, especially those of the "Number Two" kind...and MOST ESPECIALLY of the wet fart kind. Ralph Waldo Emerson and Katie Fleck (quoting Ralph) so aptly put it "A child is a curly dimpled lunatic." Someone would have to be a lunatic to not wish to have their bottoms cleaned off (which so often happens when I tell a child to come let me clean off their poopy) or to just run around sporting a load. Because lemme tell you. That day was not fun. I so prefer a dry bottom, and would thank my mom for potty training me, but I don't think that she actually *did* any of the work in doing so. So I suppose I shall thank MYSELF for potty training, as I am so thankful that I can sport a clean ass.

8 Comments:

Blogger Katie said...

Yuck! I hope you feel better soon.

2:22 PM

 
Anonymous T. Urd Burgular said...

Why in the name of the lord that created all would anyone over the age of 4 and under the age of 70 admit to shitting themselves. That would be like admiting your name was Jack Mahogoff, Mike Hunt, Anita Cox or any of the other juvenile names that someone poses as.

3:35 PM

 
Blogger Village-Idiot said...

Yuck! I call what you did 'sharting' (shit-fart combo). Again, TMI... way, way TMI.

3:58 PM

 
Anonymous judy said...

Wow! I am so glad you sport a clean ass! You can come over here and craft ANYTIME. I wanted you to come over tonight since ER isn't on and I won't be doing anything other than sleeping. Damn that Aaron for being sick. I guess you can't very well leave him and come over here, can you?

Oh yeah, and bring your Sizzix when you come?!

5:28 PM

 
Blogger Cath said...

Sorry you've had a bad tummy Steph. I can't believer you ACTUALLY posted that. OMG, i have this image of you in my head now and it won't go away!! Ewwwwwwwww

6:10 PM

 
Blogger fl13grl said...

all i can say is OMG and EEEWWWW!
:(

7:04 PM

 
Blogger Leann said...

I agree! EWWWWW!

Ummmm, thanx for sharing! :P

10:28 PM

 
Blogger fl13grl said...

p.s. Need fashion advice on my blog. All votes welcome!

i'll call you tomorrow regarding my order!!

1:10 AM

 

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