blogkeeping and zookeeper sadness....

....so, since we last chatted, people have had questions...yes, dante, who was once a terrible baby, is leaving me! his momma got a second shift job, for she wanted to stay home with the kids for the bulk of their waking hours. that, and she didn't really wanna give up half of her paycheck to paying daycare for two kiddos...sound familiar?? *winks* she's promised to come by with the kids, and i hope that life doesn't get in the way too much to where we don't see them anymore. i would be gutted. it's totally understandable if she can't come up as often as intended, though, because it's not easy to leave your house once you establish being there, you know?

....anyway, as if the sad stuff stops there, i was talking to my mom tonight. she told me that my brother has been sleeping pretty much the entire day while his two young children (aged two and four) roam the house. now, aaron and i differ on our opinions of sleeping with waking toddlers....my thought? a few minutes of a cat-nap to the mom or dad who was up late at work? not too bad? an hour for the mom who has a sinus infection from hell and can't keep her head up? not so good if people roam in and out of her house while she's sleeping, but if she has the house on lock-down, and the kids can't harm themselves, i'd say she's entitled....but an otherwise healthy man sleeping all day while his two very active and inquisitive toddlers roam about the house, scrounging for food? NOT GOOD. i'm near tears of anger and sadness at the thought of a man who was once in the shoes of his two sons....only he had a younger sister to figure out how to feed as their mother slept or otherwise ignored them....yes, that was my brother and me. we were the neglected kids. he's often been so mad at my (biological...not the one i refer to as 'mom'...sorry for the ambiguity) mother for neglecting us as children, for choosing her animals (whose shit she didn't bother to clean up) over her children, who only wanted some attention and honest-to-god love from the woman who birthed them....aaron mentioned the sad double-standard of moms versus dads in this case, too, as if we had been talking about my brother's wife sleeping while the kids fended for themselves, it would be more of an outrage....but to me, it's an outrage, and i'm finding it very difficult to keep my mouth shut....so, as other people i know, i'm venting here...cos, well, after all, it is my diary, and i'll lay it all out for people to see....i really don't care. *sticks tongue out* but....if anyone has any ideas on how i could broach this subject with my brother without cutting the very frayed threads holding our relationship together, please let me know. perhaps i shouldn't say anything, but i would hate myself if something horrible happened to those boys because i didn't speak up when i should have and he keeps this shit up.....

...and with that, i bid you all adieu...."the good earth" by pearl s. buck (i think...anyway, it's an oprah book club read) awaits me after i put the kids to bed.... *sigh*