Life as a reformed Zookeeper. Now living a life as a working mother who dabbles in karate, scrapbooking, and Coors Light!

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Contagious, perhaps?

I think we've all agreed that sinus infections and other communicable diseases are contagious through blogs. But methinks that depression must also be contagious online.....and perhaps not depression, per sey, but those normal down-in-the-dumps feelings that creep up sometimes. I'm going through one of those times where I feel like I'm no longer the witty and intelligent girl that I was when I was working outside the home. I rarely talk to people over the age of ten. Not that I don't love being with all these wonderful LITTLE people, don't get me wrong. I'm just missing adult company these days. I know that my life has a good purpose right now, even if it might slowly drive me over the edge. My children are my world. But sometimes I just want to have that "adult" life again. I figured it up that I work twelve hours a day most days. If I sleep eight, that only leaves four measly hours with which to do anything else. Take about two of that for supper and cleaning, and you have two hours left. Not much time at all. And it's wearing me out. It's not a wonder that in-home daycare providers usually have a high burn-out rate. Most of it is that I'm lonely, I can't listen to anything other than the Wiggles, and I'm freaking out-of-my-mind tired most times.

The bad thing about this is that I don't see a way out of this all too soon. I have about three or four more years before the twins are ready for kindergarten, and another year after that before they are in school full-time. After that, what is a mom to do? I feel like my brain is slowly turning to mush, and that, even if I wanted to, I couldn't keep a nice little kushy office job because my brain is so far gone that no one will want to hire me. *sigh*

So, set another place at the pity party table if there's room.


Blogger cmhl said...

girl, I hear you. I feel the same way. it seems like there is no end in sight, doesn't it???

do you ever go out with the "girls"? I have bunco night once a month, which is a lot of fun. and sometimes I tell dh that I am going out (at night on on the weekend), and leave the house for a couple of hours. otherwise I would go crazy!!

3:21 PM

Blogger diligent law student said...

Hey Steph - sorry to hear you're kind of down...I feel ya there...if you want any girl company to hang out with, I'm free Friday - I'd love to come over and keep ya company!

8:22 AM


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