almond poppyseed bread is in the oven and all the kids are napping......at last some reprieve....

i know a lot of you sahm's really love the idea of an earlier bedtime.....for me that happens, but i'm too tired by then to enjoy it! LOL for me, the best time of day is right here and right now.....the noon hour is when i finally get some peace and quiet....the only time of day where i can do anything for myself, so long as it is in the master suite! LOL sad but true, the majority of any of my free time is wasted sitting right here! ......mostly because i have no energy to enjoy this time, either.....at least i'm by myself!

i'm really going to try my hand at ebay this time...i really need to figure out how to do it, tho...i can sign up to do propay through Leaving Prints, but don't know whether that's acceptable in the ebay world....hmmmm....i've things to sell! hehehe

you know...i have no ponderances on world peace, or real grumps to lay out....my only ponderance right now is why people don't enjoy their lives more.....we have them to live, why can't we be happy with what we have? take me, for instance......here is a list of the wonderful things i have.....
........a loving husband, who wants me to be happy
..........three wonderful children, who...all except for a biter as of late (collin never did that! LMAO), are great and seem to be much easier to deal with than most other children i know....
..........a house, that, while might have a mold problem (holy shit, i hope not!! please let it just be a rogue thing that grew on collin's wall!! ), is very comfortable and suits our needs.
...........a job that, while rough at times (none of my t-shirts are without baby food stains, but then again....they're just t-shirts....), allows me to see my beautiful wonderful children much more than i ever would were i still working downtown at a job where i was contentedly discontent.
...........TONS of scrapbooking supplies that i can use.
...........nap time with which to scrap
...........girls to talk on the phone with
..........a figure that's forgiving of the mounds of chocolate i've been giving it for the past few months.
..........good hair, tho i'm not sure why everyone keeps saying that, but i thought i'd chuck that in.
........a mother-in-law whom i can actually get along with on most occasions.
.........family that loves me for who i am, and doesn't rag me for not calling for a few weeks at a go.

i have all these wonderful things.....why am i not bursting at the seems with happiness? and i'm not alone....many people are just like me.....they have good lives, but never seem to enjoy what they've got. and many of these said people fool themselves into believing their life is really hunky-dory, but are always complaining about it! i don't try to kid myself all that much...i always seem to deal with nasty shit....a firstborn only child who won't let me put him down without a fight, who decides to spit his lunch all over me.....a few family members who always hyercritical of others while all the while doing the same things.....a mother who says she wants to spend time with me, but then ignores me for friends on easter......

no...life's not always grand, but there are many things that i don't have to deal with......and i'm damn lucky that i don't.......here's a list...........
..........i've only known one person my entire life that was murdered.
........i've only known one person my entire life who committed suicide
..........i've only known two people with AIDS
.........i've never been molested
.........i've a roof over my head.
..........i've not had cancer.
...........we've not had to foreclose on anything
..........we've not been without a few good friends
..........i've never had to watch my baby die
..........i've never had a miscarriage
..........i've never been in a freaking car wreck!
...........i'm never really alone

i'm really very very lucky...........i need to find a way to realize this every day. i need a way to make it a point to find something good in each day. every day life generally sucks for most people. we all carry the same amount of weight on our shoulders, it just takes on a different shape or has a different name. but i think that there is a lot of good in everyone's lives, too. and there must be a way to concentrate on that good so we don't feel miserable all the time!

and now, if you'll excuse me.....there just might be some almond poppyseed bread that's done baking! :)