Feelings of Inadequacy....

...there are many reasons for me to feel inadequate. And this is going to sound stupid. But I'm feeling inadequate with my karate right now, especially where competing is concerned. Tomorrow, I'll compete for the first time as a black belt. And I'm positively shitting-myself-nervous about it. Why? Because I'm trying new things. Things that, because the weather prevents me from going all Funakoshi in my backyard, I've not had enough practice with. Doing kata in a six by six foot space in my living room? Not enough space. Spinning tonfa around when I have low ceilings and fans in every room? Uh, not THAT stupid! So I've not had enough time to really feel prepared for stuff. In my heart of hearts, I know that I've improved so much over this time last year.

...Am still going tomorrow. Am fully prepared to be the newbie. Getting my butt kicked. But I know that the black belt women in the tournament circuit I run in are a bunch of wonderful women. Tough women. But with hearts of gold. I know many of them already, and am excited to see them tomorrow. And have my ass handed to me on a platter. *winks*

....Roll on Summer!