So...

**********ETA: The guinea pigs are doing quite well, though do not like that I'm constantly shoving antibiotics in their faces. Did you know....full fat yogurt cost significantly more than low fat? And, that antibiotics for a damn guinea are TRIPLE what I'd pay for human ones?? ************

...I feel sometimes like my life is one of those books I've been reading....where they SAY they're going to change, but take the long road there....

...Not only did I have problems with Griffin this weekend, but I had problems fitting into all my jeans. I've never in my life weighed more than I do right now without having two babies in my belly. I weigh now MORE than I did when eight months pregnant with Collin, and, well, that just makes me sad. I once thought that double digit pants were huge.....now I'm headed toward a size 16 pants. I know that it's not a terrible size to be, but lemme tell you. I'd rather be spending my money on clothes because I WANT to, not out of NECESSITY.

...So, I'm going to really make an effort to control my eating. Between not having to nursing babies to eat up my calories and being on Paxil, which notoriously makes people gain weight, I just don't feel pretty any more. Not that I do anyway, unless I have make-up on and everyone tells me I look pretty. lmao

...I'm half-tempted to journal my eating habits on here, so that you all can make fun of me when I eat a pint of ice cream all in one go, or a box of Girl Scout cookies. Both of which I do way more often than I should.

...I'm also cutting back on eating the kids' food. No more eating corn dogs and Totino's pizza. These are simply bad for me. Well, maybe not every week, in any case. I'm going to eat rice with picante sauce for lunch a few days a week. Low fat. I soooo can't do low carb. But, I will try to eat whole grains whenever humanly possible, and beef up my fiber intake. I. WILL. LOSE. WEIGHT.

...Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be my 125 lb. 19 year-old self again. That's just simply TOO thin, and way unrealistic. BUT, I would like to maybe be a size 10 in clothes. That's not too bad of a goal to shoot for. I've not been a size ten for longer than two or three months since I had the gruesome twosome. When I was nursing, I got down to 140, and damn, I LOOKED HOT. With porn star boobies (that would spray milk at you, but nevermind) and a thin waist.... I don't think I looked half bad. I want to be that thin again. And only that thin, really.

....And last, but certainly not least....I'm going to cut back on my diet Coke consumption. I'm slowly replacing diet Coke with tea. I can't give caffiene up completely yet. It's just not gonna happen. But, diet Coke is an evil that I must part with.

So there you have it....my rambling thoughts on losing weight.....I don't have a scale, so we'll be measuring.......

Waist....where I wear my jeans, which is right at my belly button..... *gulps* 39"
Thigh....24"

These are the two places I feel like I lack in. Most of my weight is carried from my belly button to the middle of my thigh. The rest of me is tolerable, and makes me look thin..... I just look about 3 mos pg half the time, and, well, that's not cool when you're not getting a baby out of it!


*******food morning-noon*********
1 cup Good Friends cereal
1 1/2 bananas ---gotta love kids not wanting theirs
4 oz. raspberry yogurt
1/2 c. rice with 1/4 c. picante sauce
12 oz. diet coke
2 cups cocomint green tea
32 oz. water with Apricot stevia
four or five m&m's
a nibble of our Queen of Hearts tarts (refridgerator biscuit dough rolled out with strawberry preserves in the middle)

******food noon-six********
2 cans diet Coke (riding the slippery slope, I am....)
10 m&m's (come on and ride on that slide, slide, slippery slide...)
1 cup Kashi Good Friends
1/2 a Pillsbury Grands' biscuit with strawberry preserves
water somewhere in and around there

****food six-bedtime*****
1 serving or so of rice, chicken, with broccoli cheese soup over it...quite yummy.
1 cup chocolate skim milk
1 can diet Coke
1 cup ice cream.....fuck it.....I'm making a bit of progress