My Life is One Big Oxymoron.....

....here's me, sat on my lack of motivation, and i've decided to have a whack at creating christmas presents again this year. don't ask...i know that i'm not right in the head. part of me thinks that maybe i should be upping the anti-depressants or something....life is no fun right now, and i know that a lot of it has to do with my perspective and how i've let myself believe that my life isn't worth it. not that i'm suicidal, but my house is a wreck, my face is spotty, my kids are digging into the halloween candy at will, and i could give two shits. this isn't good for anyone. i just haven't found my new perspective yet. if you see it, please send it my way, as i really need it right now..... *sigh*


***update, al a CMHL ****
...i've shoved about three or four loads of laundry through today, and cleaned up the kitchen a bit after each meal. i'm finding the perspective, and have reminded myself that i "have to care". does the fact that i haven't been caring make me a bad person?? i really wish that i'd been the one to grow up with neat-nick parents....