Very Confused.....

....more so than usual, folks.... ;)

I got a call late last night from my mother saying that my grandfather died....he lives out in Iowa, and it was unexpected for my mom. (mom=the one who is only a "mom" when it's something major...) Now, I am wondering if I shouldn't make an effort to go to the funeral....Why am I confused on this? Because of several things...
1)I've not seen or spoken to him in 10 years...that's right...10.
2)I feel like I should be there for my mom, despite my thoughts on her really being capable of being there for me.
3)There are a lot of underlying hurts from the past on their part.
4)I can't afford to go, really.
5)It's a bad time to go.
6)I feel like if I don't go that I'm not doing what I should for a relationship with my mom's family, despite that they've never really been there for me since I was a freshman in college.
7)I feel bad for my daycare parents/families...what are they doing to do for care? They depend on me.

There are just so many things to consider, that logic tells me not to go....But my heart tells me that I should....

*sigh*