Well, Thanks for Nothing, except Judy....

.... I've made the decision on my own to bite the bullet and just do the tournament already. Am quite nervous, as I think that this is a pretty big tournament. But I feel like I'm not going to be doing this forever, especially if Griffin wants to compete. I hate that I'm going to be missing some things. I'm hoping that I can still make some of the fun events that I've been invited to. But I feel like this might be my one chance to get the full picture of competing in martial arts. Who knows? I might still do it next year (as a black belt! competing against 2nd and 3rd degree black belts! YIKES!), but the likelihood of it is increasingly slimming down. The irony of this is that our teacher is looking to put a team together, too!


.... so I went to sparring class last night, and one of the 2nd degree black belts worked with me a lot. He's a very tough coach and actually pushes me. He often hazes me to get me pissed off, too, but that might actually get me past some of my fears of being more aggressive to score points. He never wears his head gear, though, which makes me nervous as shit. I beaned him pretty good, too. But he took it in stride.


....I'm finding a comfort zone with karate these days. I think that some of the push for excellence is coming back to our school. Which I like. I know that the teacher is in a tough spot. It's his business. His source of a living. And it's tough when you have people who don't want their kids to be pushed. I know people have pushed him NOT to be tough on their kids. But there is still a measure of dedication and call for excellence that needs to happen in ANY sports activity that needs to be met for there to be a total enjoyment in the sport, especially if someone's competing in the sport. It might not always be comfortable for you to have someone telling you that what you're doing isn't perfect. But when you've been pushed to do things right, it's an awesome feeling, knowing that you're improving and actually getting GOOD at something. I wish that I had the confidence of the nearly-31 year-old me as a 14-17 year-old. I think I would have been better at swimming. No Michael Phelps, but a more fulfilled swimmer. Oh, well. Does no good to wish now. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be 14-17 again!

....Happy Wednesday to you!