Life as a reformed Zookeeper. Now living a life as a working mother who dabbles in karate, scrapbooking, and Coors Light!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Thought-Provoking Stuff, I tell ya....

That I stole from someone else's blog.....who really isn't that person, but a guest writer. ;)

The Good Thoughts

Thinking the good thoughts today for my friend. Without the bad we might not recognize the good. Even in the most blessed lives, adversity rears its head, lacing our thoughts with fear, doubt, uncertainty. Sometimes we wish for yesterday's problems, as burdensome as they once seemed. We think, "If I can just get back to where I was when this all started, I'll never complain about xyz ever again."

Sometimes adversity can make us look at our lives differently. It can certainly cast a different light on everyday events. It can make us appreciate the little things that are sometimes taken for granted. Like walking without aid. Or breathing without difficulty. Or eating without pain. Adversity is a strange beast. It can galvanize, it can clarify, or it can shatter. I'm confident that this literal and figurative bump in my friend's road will soon be in the medical waste bin where it belongs.

Join me in wishing her the good thoughts today.

So the person who wrote these words wants to remain anonymous, so I'll honor that. But man, did these words hit me like a ton of bricks. Especially given what I've been scrapping lately. If you know me for more than five minutes, you'll know that my babies were born at just 26 weeks gestation. In layman's terms, they were a little over half-baked. They would have been throw backs if they were fish. They almost didn't make it. And if you know me for ten minutes, you'll know that I very well could have died after giving birth to two severely premature babies. This, my friends, was MY bump......and it has rocked my entire world. I'm no longer the same person I was three years, two months and two days ago. That person was sad to have the mundane life of a twenty-five year old who has never done many fun things or has never been any cool places. That person was fed up with a mediocre job that paid the bills. That person wanted MORE from a career. MORE from life than the mundane and normal. That person was afraid to make others mad, especially people who are deemed important and all-knowing.

That person had also never experienced the uncertainty and pain and growth that the next three years, two months, and a day would bring. It absolutely amazes me all that I went through while the twins were in the hospital and while I had problems with the pulmonary embolysm. Those are very real, very serious events. The fact that sixty percent of my family could have died within ten days is a very heavy thing to ponder.

Let's face it. There are bumps in EVERYONE'S road. There is that one bump that you hit so hard, you are never ever the same. I'm not sure whether the aforementioned person is dealing with the "one" that makes her a different person. But the guest blogger certainly made me think of mine.

I often hate life right now. HATE it. I'm tired of working so many hours. Tired of my house being ripped to shreds before my very eyes. Tired of not being able to prevent every bump and bruise that I get questioned for. Bumps I feel I should be able to prevent, but can't stop before they happen. Tired of waking up by 6:00. Tired of never feeling rested. I'm just tired! But I do it because for the last two and a half years, I've felt it's been the best thing for the twins. For me and the rest of the house, it's been a trying time. But I feel like the twins have been better off.

As for the future, I know that if I knew then what I know now, that I would have cherished that normalcy. I would have strived to be the best person at what I do. Not wish for more out of life. Because my normal, my mundane life, was really pretty good. I hope that I can someday have that again.

OK, get your head off the keyboard, for if you stay there too long, you're going to get drool on it and short-circuit it..... well, if it does the same wonders as juice does, at any rate! I do know for a fact that electronics don't like moisture....

sheesh...i'm closing now, before I become like this guy.....just teasing, boy.....sit down and concentrate making your font bigger for me and the other near-sighted folk. *sticks out tongue*


Blogger Katie said...

Um, what? I didn't make it through all that. hehe

I am glad you all have survived to this point! It can only keep getting better from here, I think.

9:12 AM

Blogger cmhl said...

I didn't realize your twins were that early--- what a testament to you AND them that you are all doing so well now!!

ps--- I thought the guest poster had an excellent post as well

9:39 AM


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