Life as a reformed Zookeeper. Now living a life as a working mother who dabbles in karate, scrapbooking, and Coors Light!

Saturday, August 21, 2004

If you knew how much time you had with someone, think of how differently you would do things. A friend of mine has a good friend who just lost her husband of 14 years. One of the saddest things I heard about this situation was "But we had plans. I guess I'll have to find a plan for myself now." Life and loved ones are so precious. But we get caught up in our day-t0-day lives and don't realize how quickly both could be taken from us. I think of losing Aaron in the next seven years (putting myself in the friend's friend's shoes here...), and it positively scares and saddens me. There are so many things that we have to put off doing, but there are many things that we can do to make each day special.

You would think that I would already see this, being a person who very easily could have died last year, as well as having twins that also could have died last year. But, I continue to amaze myself with these "ah-ha!" moments! My mind has a wonderful way of coping during the bad things. I get this take-charge, this-isn't-that-bad attitude that lets me stay strong. The only bad thing is when I realize how very fragile the situation was when having one of these reflective moments!

But in thinking about what I would do if I knew exactly how much time I had left on this earth, I've come to the realization that I don't think about what I personally want out of life. This is the plight of being a parent who is in debt up to her butt with college loans, isn't it? hehe I know that I want to travel, but that's about as far as I've let myself think.

So, in my never-ending "to-do" list, I'm making it a goal to take some time to dream about the future, and make a list of things I'd like to do and see before I die, realizing that it could be tomorrow or several years from now. I am also making it a goal to never lose sight of the fact that each day I spend with my loved ones could be the last and to make each day special.


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