Why Try To Go Out??

....OK, so yesterday, I wanted to go to Hobby Lobby. One of my favorite all-time craft stores. Kinda like a Wal-Mart for crafts, only they offer half-off deals a lot. So, most of you know that I often don't leave my house for a few days at a stretch, and this happened to be one of those times. I might have left, but it was with the entire family, and I often leave my purse at home on such occasions, because why leave it someplace, right? So, Aaron takes Collin to karate, and I decide to brave Hobby Lobby with the Gruesome Twosome. I get on everyone's coats and shoes, and get ready to go, only to realize that I don't have my purse. No biggie, it's upstairs, I say. I go upstairs and realize that the female half of the Gruesome Twosome had emptied it, which I'd forgotten. Well, she also "put away" my wallet. In an undisclosed location so secure it was likely that we'd never see it again. I'm yelling, looking around the office for any sign of my wallet, asking them "Where did you put Mommy's wallet??" Erin simply looks at me and says "It's right dare, Mommy," pointing to the already located Green Apple Vera Bradley backpack purse, complete with Cranberry Lipstick smears (You'll never GUESS where that came from!). "You might as well take off your jackets because we're not going anywhere!" I yell at them. They leave me to piss and moan and search all by myself. Well, I finally resign myself to the fact that I'm not going anywhere, when I find the damned wallet in with my ADHESIVES, this nice little basket that I keep them all in, which isn't locked, so therefore will not keep little fingers from getting glue dots on everything. So, I yell to them that we are, indeed, going to be able to go to the store, which, by now, closes in 45 mins. It's about 10 mins away. Way-fucking-hay, I think to myself. But I need to go, so I'm going, even if I don't get a few beloved minutes to sigh and walk up and down the aisles, itching to put stuff I don't need into my cart. Anyway, we get there, I get what I need, and we head home. No the story keeps going....I get home, and Aaron's pulling into the drive at approximately the same time I am, and they're looking at me, like there is something wrong. Apparently, when they got home, shortly before I did, they discovered the house to be standing wide open. The garage door is up and the door to the house is wide open.

*sigh* I'll eventually get my brain back. LOL

And that's not even what capped the night off. I shall not burden you with any more than my question posed to my nine year-old son. "How could you NOT know whether or not it was you who peed on the bathroom floor? It was less than five minutes ago!"