i had the absolute WORST dream last night. i dreamt that i was pregnant with twins, and started to have premature labor. i hadn't had an ultrasound, so i didn't know what the sexes of them were.....but the doctor was releasing me from the hospital, but i didn't feel comfortable with being released, so i told them to check me to see if i was dilated. of course, i was....so i was hospitalized again. and the contractions come, but i'm left alone with someone else who's also in labor. all of a sudden, i can feel tons of pressure and know that a baby is on its way out. i call the doctors and nurses and tell them to get in right away to help me. the babies are born (i catch them..unrealistic, i know, but it is a dream, after all), and i run with one in my arms to the NICU for help....the doctor just leaves the second one on the floor in the hall, and i remember yelling at them to hurry, because they needed to be put on ventilators right away.

i don't often remember my dreams. but this one has got to be the worst one i've had in a long time. i do remember that they were boys, because i remember asking right away, and telling them that i didn't know. and i remember that they both looked more than perfect. so much better than they would have been had it been real.

funny how dreams can magnify your fears.....